Gargoyle's Grin
Loaded Dice
“If you're not cheating, you're not trying.”
“If you're not cheating, you're not trying.”
Every die is hand-poured from a kit and openly, shamelessly loaded — tuned for roughly 15–20% more natural 20s than an honest die. Novelty dice for the bold, the desperate, and the rules-lawyer's nemesis.
Give the gift of failure. Weighted toward the dreaded natural 1, this hexed set is meant to be wrapped and handed to a dear friend who has wronged you. Watch their paladin trip over every doorway.
Rolled four nat 20s in one session. The DM now makes me roll in a glass bowl. Worth it.
Gifted the Cursed Set to our rules lawyer. He failed a saving throw against a staircase. Best birthday ever.
My DM confiscated them, then quietly used them for his dragon. Minus one star for the betrayal.
I used to pray to the dice gods. Now the dice gods pray to me.
Someone gave me a 'lovely gift set.' Twelve sessions, zero hits. I know what you did, Velka.
Critted on a Persuasion check to convince the DM the dice were fair. Even the dice were impressed.
The gargoyle on the box winked at me. My character hasn't died since. My friends no longer speak to me.
Arrived in 3 days. My party's trust in me lasted about 3 minutes.
Rules lawyer (n.): the player who argues the exact wording of the rules to win a point, usually by quoting page numbers at the DM mid-combat. Natural prey of the Cursed Set.
Sample reviews for demo purposes only. No paladins were harmed.
A whisper of extra weight is sealed beneath the 1 during casting, so gravity gently rolls the 20 skyward. No curses. Probably. Results vary, as do friendships.
Custom colors, bulk orders, or confessions: orders@example.com (placeholder)
The gargoyle has swallowed thy order.
(demo — no payment taken)